“One of the most important things that people need to realize is that just because they buy something in their ‘size,’ doesn’t mean that it’s going to fit them. People get very invested in being a certain size but this is a huge mistake as different designers cut for different body types and also, many companies ‘play with size’ in order to flatter customers. Buy what fits, regardless of the number on the tag.” —Michael O’Connor, personal stylist
What’s different is their response. When things go wrong, they quickly look for ways to put them right. They don’t whine, pity themselves, or complain about “bad luck.” They try to learn from what happened to avoid or correct it next time and get on with living their life as best they can. They have this Motivation Engine, which most people lack, to keep them going.

How to actually do it: "Figure out your go-to, foolproof looks," says designer Nanette Lepore, then seek out variations on that theme. Stumped? Picture the outfits that you feel most comfortable in. Or ask people close to you what you look best in. Once you've zeroed in on what works, find different takes. "I gravitate toward jackets, so I'll do a bomber style, then a silk version, or a denim jacket with leather sleeves," says Minkoff. "Whenever you feel the need to talk yourself into things, that's a red flag that you shouldn't buy them," says Minkoff. If you have doubts in the dressing room, it may help to take a photo of yourself in the item, suggests Aerin Lauder, the founder and creative director of the lifestyle brand Aerin. "It's much more accurate than looking in the mirror."

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