I don't actually think these events really happened to me, but they'll still come to mind when I think back on a time when a secondhand event seemed to hold some kind of truth that reality did not. Example: I felt all weird and drifty at the beginning of last summer, and when I try and revisit that place, I don't literally imagine the view from behind a car windshield and how everything must look to the narrator in Yo La Tengo's "Today Is the Day," but I sure remember the exact sadness that it captured.


Speaking of rules, we should mentioned those regarding showing skin. It’s pretty simple – show one body part at a time. So if you’re showing your cleavage, pay attention you’re not combining that with miniskirts, and the other way around. Looking and feeling attractive shouldn’t be based on how naked you are. A little bit of mystery is always a nice touch.
Well, do you agree or disagree with me on this subject? I certainly have rather strong opinions on this, but it comes from years of seeing women unfortunately undermine themselves professionally by presenting themselves in a less than professional manner, stylishly speaking. So, as I mentioned, think of your outward aesthetic as an extension of your personal brand. Make the mark you want to leave when you come into contact with someone.

How to actually do it: "Figure out your go-to, foolproof looks," says designer Nanette Lepore, then seek out variations on that theme. Stumped? Picture the outfits that you feel most comfortable in. Or ask people close to you what you look best in. Once you've zeroed in on what works, find different takes. "I gravitate toward jackets, so I'll do a bomber style, then a silk version, or a denim jacket with leather sleeves," says Minkoff. "Whenever you feel the need to talk yourself into things, that's a red flag that you shouldn't buy them," says Minkoff. If you have doubts in the dressing room, it may help to take a photo of yourself in the item, suggests Aerin Lauder, the founder and creative director of the lifestyle brand Aerin. "It's much more accurate than looking in the mirror."
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